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Thanks For The Support Sloths

First off, thanks for all of you who have visited my new home at GRRuMblers.  I feel like the first few days have been successful in getting people to initially view the site, and the biggest reason for that is due to my followers here (now dubbed the sloths. Is that plural for Sloth?).  We will have many more interesting articles coming the next weeks, as we are still working through a lot of kinks and getting used to how we are wanting to run things on the new site.

Wordpress allows me to see site statistics about where people are visiting from if they click a direct link to my site (for free, unlike LiveJournal).  Wouldn't you know that krkreuk.livejournal.com is the top result?  Of course, I only have about three places that have linked to my new blog so it's not a huge competition, but still I appreciate the support that you guys (and gals) have shown.

I will still make a few reminders over here and probably repost my GRRuMblers articles that revolve around George (exclusive information for you sloths, my George article will be Thursday!)

So I would buy all of you a beer in thanks if I could (mostly because this wouldn't actually cost that much).  One more tidbit, look for my photoshop in action on Friday.  I don't think you'll be disappointed.

New Blog Launching Tomorrow

Just wanted to let everyone know that my new blog will be going live tomorrow, June 6th, at 10:00 (GMT -6). We will have 4-5 posts tomorrow, and several more throughout the coming weeks (and however long this journey takes me).

The new address will be:


It is currently locked, but won't be starting tomorrow.  We will likely move to grrumblers.com once we get a solid base of followers, but til then we'll be staying free!

As I said previously, we won't be focusing solely on George or ASOIAF, though you can expect several jabs at The Man. Basically, no author is safe.

Tell everyone you know about this amazing new blog. Everyone. See you tomorrow!


Moving The Site, Goodbye LiveJournal

Hello everyone. Sorry for the lack of updates in recent months. However, this time it is due to reasons not limited to real life work (which has been busy as well).

The Slothenly Author will be closing up shop here in the next few weeks.  Sad, I know.  After over a year of existance providing meaningless data and charts about George, The Slothenly Author will become no more.

Don't be too sad though, as I am not quitting the blogging business altogether. SilentMajority, from IsWinterComing, and I are creating a new blog at the moment that will cover the same topics as this site, plus a lot more.  It's a little ambitious, but I think we will be able to handle it.  We will have much more frequent features, posts, and comments, and hopefully it will still be enjoyable for people to follow.  We also will not be limiting our scope to George RR Martin, because let's be honest, there has been pretty much no progress since I started this blog two Novembers ago.

Think super-serious fantasy site.  Serious until you realize you have me as one of the people blogging, and you realize George R.R. Martin is still trying to sell the same miniatures he was a year ago.

I will announce on this page with a new entry when we have the new blog running.  I may even see if I cannot set up some sort of mirror site here, as LiveJournal does get good results in Google searches (we will no longer be on LiveJournal. Worpress is the way to go!), that way when people come back for their montly check-in they can see what Ive been up to.

I will also repost some of my older entries at the new blog, seeing how much things have changed over the months (my guess: very little!).

So hopefully those 20 or so of you who have been following me for the past year will make their way to the new site when it opens.  Hopefully you enjoy it just as much, if not more, than you have The Slothenly Author.  Hopefully, we read A Dance With Dragons this decade.  Hopefully Kristin Kreuk realizes the error of her ways and asks me to marry her. Hopefully I find a better sense of humor, but that's probably the least likely to happen.

So stay tuned. The new, improved blog will be going live within the next two weeks (less if things go according to plan).  Hopefully I learn to use less parenthesis.

Suvudu Battle Write-Up = One AFFC Chapter

If you have been following Not A Blog recently, you have likely seen that George is obsessed with the Suvudu Cage Match that pits famous characters from fantasy against one another.  George graced us with his writing skills for a few of these matches, but took the cake with a lengthy exposition in the finale versus Rand al-Thor.

Here are some numbers for you:

George's newest "story": 6,585 words (excluding intros, etc)
Average chapter in AFFC: 6,521 words (300k / 46 chapters)

There is just no way to get around the fact that this story George created is just as long as an average chapter in AFFC.

Re-read that sentence: George created a story for an on-line blog that is just as long as a chapter in AFFC.

This does not include all the other blog entries George made for the other fights, which were numerous. This does not include all the thinking time it took him to reach into the Wildcard series and choose which comic book characters he wanted to drag into this ridiculous fight*.

*Note: I did not read his write-up, though I did a quick scan to see who he brought in to help. Seriously, Rand would obliterate anything that George threw his way.  George realized this brought in some random people that only the 15 wildcard fans in the world know about. Do Not Want.

When people defend George, they always point out that he goes back and re-writes things if he doesn't like it, which is why it takes so long for him to get books out.  Well, if he spends an entire week writing a pointless 6,500 word story instead of actually trying to write a ADWD chapter, he doesn't have anything done he can review and determine whether it's good enough for ADWD.

People say that George has a limited amount of creative energy to use each day.  Seems like having to write about Jaime and Tyrion in a Suvudu match would use up the same creativity as writing ADWD.  You can't tell me that George would spend a good 5 hours on ADWD, THEN pull up the Suvudu match and continue writing about that for a few hours.

This is the kind of stuff that makes us detractors angry. That could have been a potential ADWD chapter that he wrote the past week. Instead, it's the newest entry for the Wildcard XXIVXIY book, coming to a store near you.

George Writes So Fast!!!

Just a quick check in from me. I have been swamped at work, and my boss would not be psyched to know that I am blogging about an author who is even slower than I am at finishing projects.

I have started no less than 3 entries the past two weeks discussing various topics, from Speakman to the ADWD 'updates," but I can't seem to get a coherent thought together. All my entries are all so inter-related, that one might say that I am in a "knot." (See what I did there? Perhaps the George-en-eesse knot?).  Rest assured, I am doing lots of research and will have some thoughts up soon.

However, while doing my research I happened to read George's original ADWD update that he posted on his main webpage (not Not a Blog, his 'update' page that is now years old. And yes, that is redundant.) I will post only the relevant part here, because what I am trying to focus on would get lost in the bullshit he is spewing about ADWD and how quickly it will be finished. Here we go:

And before anyone writes me asking, yes, there is a third Dunk and Egg novella in the works as well. It's maybe three-quarters done, and sometime soon I want to find the time to finish that one too.

—George R.R. Martin, January 24, 2006
Now wait a second, isn't the third Dunk and Egg just about to be published in March 2010? Hint, that is indeed when it is being published.

This novella, George's specialty in the writing world which won him a Hugo, which was three-quarters finished in January 2006, is only now about to be published?

Surely he finished this a long time ago and it's just been delayed in publishing, right?

Let's go to October 2007:


Not done yet? How about January 2008:


No? Let's warp in time to April 2008:


He is "oh-so-close," but not finished yet. 

After 2 years, a ~160 page Novella that has been three quarters from being done is still not complete.

NoteThe Hedge Knight was 160 pages, so I assume that The Mystery Knight is similar

George, who has been focusing on side projects the past 4 years, did not complete the only actual piece of writing besides ADWD for over 2 years, when said piece of writing was already 3/4 finished at the completion of AFFC.

When was it actually completed? Well George doesn't actually announce the completion of Mystery Knight, but in March of 2009, Shawn Speakman posted on Suvudu that Warriors anthology is complete and turned in. Since it is always fun to link to Speakman, here is his article:


And here is the money quote from Speakman:

Warriors will be released in late 2010 or early 2011, according to George on the NEWS page of his site.

That is genius!


Where does that release date fall in the grand scope of A Song of Ice & Fire?

If A Dance With Dragons is released later this year, the release of Warriors—if it holds true—will be almost directly in the middle of the average three year period it will take George to write The Winds of Winter. It will help assuage those more zealous fans, giving them something to read while they wait for the next full volume. Could it be happenstance? Perhaps. But George is also one of the editors on the project and has a choice when the new anthology will be released. The question is: Who decided that?

I believe it was probably George. And if it was, he is one shrewd mofo!

Alas, I am sure Speakman was disappointed to be wrong about Dance's release. But if he keeps saying "Dance will be done this year," he's bound to be correct sometime right?

In completely unrelated news, ADWD has "1,200 manuscript pages complete."  And for your reference, 1,200 is three quarters of 1,600 pages, which is right around the estimated 1,500 pages it will take for ADWD to be done.  As proven today, three quarters finished is a good reference for how long it will take George to finish work.

Insanity Wolf Vs GRRM

Internet Meme time! Is this an old meme? Yes! Do I care? No!

Basically if you don't know, this meme is like advice dog, except Insane Wolf gives out advice that is INSANE!!! So here we go. In this match, we will try to determine which one is crazier: Insanity Wolf vs George RR Martin.

I'm sure it will be a horrible battle.

George RR Martin, you start!

Insanity Wolf, your turn


Good start Insanity Wolf. GRRM your turn!

Who would do that George? Craziness. Insanity Wolf?


INSANE..wait Insanity Wolf, shouldn't that be GRRM? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!


HAHA CAKE! That's a low blow to GRRM. But CRAZY NONE THE LESS!!!


INSA...wait fuck you for making fun of me Insanity Wolf. GRRM stick to the topic at hand.


CRAAZYY!!!11!!! CRAZY!!!





Wow, I don't know which one ended up being more insane. They were both so crazy.

Chill Out Pat

You would think after "running a blog for 5 years" you would know the ins and outs of moderating the comments section. That or simply know how blogs work in general.

Someone went over to Pat's Fantasy Hotlist and pasted a bunch of comments in the comment section of the new GRRM excerpt with things such as "Ty Sucks Dick" repeatedly. They also went to Slynt's forum and copy/pasted a bunch of people's opinions over at Pat's website as if they were their own. Pat then went and posted a VERY VERY HEATED OMG!!!11!! response to this, and pulled a very GRRM-like move and disabled comments.

He basically reacted as if someone had taken a shit on the front seat of his car then set it on fire.

Now, it is pretty obvious if you look at the comment section you can figure a few things out:
  1. All of the comments are posted by anonymous posters in very rapid succession (by looking at the timestamps).
  2. All of these comments are (likely) from the same IP address, which Pat should be able to see
  3. Therefore, it was likely the same person posting those last 100 or so comments
I don't understand how Pat can blame all the "Martin haters or trolls" out there for this. Clearly this was one persons actions, but that apparently reflects everybody who is not happy with GRRM at the moment. Because, you know, we are all exactly the same and think in only one way.  Oh, and we are super stubborn, and don't want to listen or see reason and any differening views are wrong!

I would have thought that looking at the comments in general would have told him there are actually a lot of people that aren't happy with GRRM, and in general, they are willing to have coherent discussion on the topic. There are always people who go to far or don't even care to discuss things rationally, but that happens on both sides of any argument.

I just don't understand his outburst because of one individual's decision to spam-bomb his blog. In fact, I'm surprised no one has done this to his blog in 5 years because it's a pretty popular website he runs.

I hope he is not getting pissed because so many people don't feel the same way he does on this subject. It is widely known that him and George get along well, and I'm sure Pat loves having a relationship with a very famous author. And I understand that Pat will take George's side. I'm fine with that.

I'm just hoping he isn't going to start taking after GRRM and censoring his blog from all negative comment as George has done. I understand limiting spam and hateful comments on his blog, but there is a difference if you limit what people are allowed to say on a subject.

Link Roundup

A few relevant links and notes:

  • FTBG reader Slynt has created a message board for people to discuss George's tardy writing. I'll probably join up here sometime soon when I get a chance. Check it out: http://slynt.proboards.com/index.cgi
  • The Jets finally lost! I think it's sad that I found myself wanting the Jets to lose simply because George is a Jet's fan when I otherwise would have wanted the jets to win. It was pretty annoying that they made it this far though, causing George to peruse the inter-web for Jets information all week instead of writing a book.
  • Someone has created a blog posting his thoughts as he is reading ASOIAF. He is about to start A Clash of Kings and writes and updates at a slow pace since he is also a student, but it's likely he'll finish all four books before ADWD comes out. Blog: http://blogoficeandfire.blogspot.com/
  • Pat over at Pats Fantasy Hotlist got an excerpt from George's new Dunk & Egg story. This is not odd, as Pat and George at super super super good friends. What is weird, though, is that there is a large amount of GRRM hate in the comments, enough to make me think there is a growing trend of people fed up with the Duke of Delay (JOE ABERCROMBIE REFERENCE). Check out the comments: http://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/2010/01/exclusive-excerpt-from-george-r-r.html
  • The same thing is going on over at Tower of the Hand, although I have to say there is a lot more common sense over there than a lot SFF websites. Here is a good example, with a poll asking when people think ADWD will come out: http://www.towerofthehand.com/blog/2009/12/30_to_dance_when_if_not_2010/index.html#comments
  • I have updated my links on the lefthand side of my blog. Im sure you cared.
Still working on updating my graphs, but I guess Im working at a GRRM like pace.

Dance Further Delayed

San Diego, CA - In a breaking story, author George R.R. Martin of Wildcards fame was arrested at the Jets versus Chargers football game last Sunday. According to witnesses, Martin, age 103, was abusive and disruptive to nearby fans when it became clear that the Jets were going to win the match.

Security and Police arrived at the scene, and when Martin refused to be led from the stadium willingly, was carried off in hand-cuffs by personnel.

The action was captured on a fan's cellular phone camera:

No word on whether Martin is being charged or how long his likely prison sentence will be. It can be expected that one of his multitude of books currently in development, A Dance With Dragons, which is four years in development, will be further delayed. However, with the Jet's victory it was assumed that the book would be further delayed anyway.

Editing The Editor!!!

First, this is NOT my update to my graphs. Sorry, but I've been doing work for other websites, as well as real life work and my stuff here.

Second, sorry that I said the Jets were out of the playoffs! Not only was I wrong, they WON this weekend. Hopefully I will be proven wrong soon enough!

Third, George's ill named blog entry titled Sunday, Sunday is either a tribute or in very poor taste, as the dude who made famous the quote Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! died the day of his entry! Not only that, his sports writing sucks really really bad, so if it is a tribute I doubt the guy would appreciate it.

Fourth, is George being serious? Apparently, SONGS OF LOVE AND DEATH: Tales of Star-Crossed Love is complete! Little did I know that it was title Tales of Star-Crossed Love, one of the best titles ever!

And, also apparently, you don't have to actually contribute anything to punch your name in huge bold letters on the cover of a book. I thought this was the book that he had a Hedge Knight short story or something in it. I guess not!

Now on to the quotes from his latest blog entry!

Those of you who know my work only from A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE may not be aware that I was once considered the most romantic science fiction writer of the 70s, back when I was doing my Thousand Worlds stuff

What does that mean? Any of it. All of it.
Gardner Dozois and I have delivered SONGS OF LOVE AND DEATH: Tales of Star-Crossed Love to our editor at Pocket Books


I think we all know the answer to this question.

I had a few beers, so gimme a break on the brevity.